- Failing spectacularly
- March 9th, 12:11
Last night, I was in St. Louis for a beard competiton, where I entered the freestyle category. And I failed. Miserably.
I had felt great going into this, after a first place finish in Chicago and a decent practice. And about an hour in, things were looking good. I was going to, finally, make my beard menorah a winner on stage.
And then it started to fall. So I sprayed and clipped. And it fell more. By the time I had gotten to the venue, it had warped beyond recognition. I panicked. Now what?
I had a blow dryer and hair spray just for such an occasion. Too bad the hair spray can was dropped, the top breaking off rendering the can unusable unless you jabbed a pin in the hole. And there was no hair dryer.
So here I am, in the bar's bathroom, trying desperately to salvage the beard into something -- ANYTHING - MacGuyvering the can in the vicinity of my beard and trying to dry it wih the automatic hand dryer. Several laughed at seeing his, and in the end, I am positive I was last place. It was so amazingly humiliating. I kept saying, "I am better than this," but here I was, with a car wreck of a beard on my face.
As someone I know once said, "If you're going to fail, fail spectacularly." And that I did.
It was still nice to meet great guys, even if I am now "that guy in the bathroom."